Let me just preface this blog post with one important point. I am about to bare my soul to the world and this list should not be seen as the end all be all. I am by no means saying that my experience is the only way that first-year teachers feel, nor would I want someone to feel that way. My hope is that when you are reading this, you can either relate to these ideas or learn a thing or two from my mistakes. We are all different people and educators, so not everyone will have the same experience as me. Take this post as my advice to you as you to reflect on your own personal experiences.
1. It’s okay to say “no”
Saying “no” to my students was an invaluable skill that I have learned over the last two years. As I’m reading that sentence back, though, it sounds pretty brutal, but hear me out…
As much as I hate to admit it, I’m a people-pleaser. I care about my students and I want them to be happy. The people-pleaser in me thought that my students would like coming to class if I said “yes” to everything they asked for. When in reality, it’s not about them being happy, per se, but rather that they feel comfortable and engaged. Let’s face it…math class isn’t the most exciting place to be. However, I have not met a student who truly prefers a classroom that is practically a free for all with no structure.
For example, my first year I used to frequently let me students pick the music that we listened to in class. This eventually got out of hand and became a distraction, so I had to stop playing music entirely. If I had said no from the beginning or come up with a better system, I would have prevented these daily headaches.
So even though saying “no” to students is a challenging task when they are badgering you (because we all know it’s easy to fall into that trap), setting those small boundaries has been a game changer for my classroom.
2. My lessons don’t have to be perfect
So remember how I said that I’m a people-pleaser? Well, that quality stems from a much larger character trait: perfectionism. I truly thought that every single lesson that I did needed to be amazing and engaging and innovative. Somewhere along the line in my student teaching experiences, I started feeling the need to make everything I did perfect. I worried about any small criticism that I might get from my professor or mentor teacher. It took me a long time (and I mean YEARS) to get over this anxiety.
I first realized this was an issue in a conversation with my professor. Now I’m going to paraphrase this because I tried to repress this conversation as much as possible, but she said “If you need everything to be perfect, then teaching isn’t the right career for you”. YIKES. That hurt. I had just spent the last 3+ years of my life studying and paying a lot of money to become a teacher. To find out that my anxiety would prevent me from being successful was absolutely brutal. Now, don’t get too excited, this wasn’t the incredible life-changing epiphany that I needed to overcome my perfectionism, but it was a start.
I didn’t truly overcome my need for perfection in the classroom until I had my own. The first eight weeks as a first year teacher were rough because, honestly, I did not know what to expect. I thought to myself, “Oh how bad could it be? I’ve learned all about classroom routines and creating engaging lessons. I’m sure I’ll be fine.” I was SO wrong. That first semester was a huge slice of humble pie. I had to lean on a lot of people for support to get through it.
Looking back, I can’t think of a single day where everything that I had planned or expected was perfect. Some days, what you planned doesn’t even happen. No one finished their homework? Oh well. I guess they will complete it right now, and the fun activity that I had planned will have to wait. It took a lot for me to realize that this is okay! Math class doesn’t have to be fun every day. At the end of the day, if my students know more today than they did yesterday and no one gets hurt, then it’s a success in my book.
3. Don’t let your concerns at school ruin your time at home
Yes, what we do as educators is incredibly important and we affect so many children’s lives every year, BUT our job should not consume our entire life. Aside from bringing home work to grade or staying up developing lessons, since most first-year teachers are starting from scratch, I wish that I had been able to let go of the negative things just a little bit more.
No one trains you on how to deal with rude comments from a student or an angry parent. You just have to figure it out and not take anything to heart. The reason for their behavior is probably not that they hate you and only live to ruin your life. One of the best pieces of advice that my administrators said to me was, “don’t lose sleep over it.” That always made me feel better in the moment and I really tried to not lose sleep over it, but some days it just happened. It took a lot of introspection and therapy to build some thicker skin, but it has been well worth it.
4. My inexperience doesn’t make me a bad teacher
The imposter syndrome that I felt during my first year of teaching was unbelievable looking back now. I truly felt like my opinions didn’t matter because I didn’t have 20 years of experience to back anything up. When in reality, I had some really good ideas and I regret not expressing them as often as I should have.
I wasn’t a fantastic teacher my first year, but I wasn’t horrible either. As I reflect on that year, I realize how little grace I was giving myself. That is the biggest piece of advice that I wish I could have known as a first-year teacher. I am not going to have it all figured out and I am still learning a lot about teaching, but I am NOT a bad teacher.